Friday, January 06, 2012

Forced Leave


Last Tuesday, I found out that I still had 3 days of vacation leave that I needed to use, else it'll end up forfeited.

All of a sudden I had 3 days off from work.

On Wednesday morning, I sat and wrote down my errands and things I wanted to do.  By the end of Wednesday, I crossed out half of the items on my list.

On Thursday morning, I finished some more of my errands and added a chore to my list.

On Friday morning, I read the article about Having No Goals for the third time.

I've read that article long ago and yes, I do agree with Leo's points but these 3 days serve as proof that I am a person of purpose.  I need to have an errand a day or at least wake up with something to do in mind and by the end of the day it must be completed for me to feel a sense of accomplishment. I am guilty of coming up with things to do, which sometimes I don't really need to, just so I can have a list of items that I can cross out once done.

Like finish 8hours of work. Swim at the pool. Do grocery shopping. Update my resume. Buy shoes.

I feel lethargic and uneasy if I don’t plan for a day and do what I intended to do.

What will happen if one day I wake up without a job and all of my errands done and I’m left with absolutely nothing to do but stay at home?

I will end up feeling sick, futile, and stumped.

I used to say that the day is wasted if you don't go out and accomplish a thing. These past 3 aimless days with me trying hard to make a point is in itself, senseless.

I could choose to wake up in the morning with no itinerary for the day, open to all possibilities, and do whatever I feel like doing at the moment.

Like go out for a walk. Take photos. Write an entry. Sit at a quiet coffee shop and muse and write and watch strangers go by.

I wanted to finish this entry saying that I will do this starting today Friday lunchtime, but I have to be somewhere else, as planned.